About a year ago, I went overseas and stayed in the Caribbean for a month.

I should’ve never gone.

Rewind:
We were in search of a new church, after leaving the one in which I had been dedicated as a newborn. For about 2 to 3 years, during my late teens, I endured an experience there that caused a lot of inner damage.

Though traumatic, it taught me a bit about people and prepared me for the things I'd encounter down the road.

Maybe about 5 to 6 months after looking for a new church to call “home,” we thought that we had finished our search. Though far from home, the church seemed promising to us, as we believed that we had made some friends we could deem a second family.

Yes, we began to face some people-related issues from day one, but they weren’t enough to deter us — especially in light of what we had just come from at our last church.

About a year after going to the church, it was decided that I'd go on a lil family trip with our “second family,” upon their invitation.

I was initially excited but soon became nervous.

Having gone through all that at my childhood church, though still trying to remain happy and be friendly after it all, I automatically became a more cautious and mindful person. Before going on this family trip, things didn’t feel altogether well with my host; and to be honest, things never did really feel well. Though apparently not paying much mind to such concerns (because I truly loved them), I certainly wasn’t unaware of how south things could possibly go.

I even wondered, in the moment of their asking me to go with them, why I was invited — in light of the lurking “unwellness” that I always felt.

Anyways, I went.

Because of past events that have taught me much and because of His guidance in my life, I wasn't really too surprised with what transpired on the trip and afterwards, but it was quite the learning experience nonetheless.

We used to be so hurt that we wouldn’t even talk much about the whole thing, but God has been healing us. We also choose to reminisce on the good parts — like the host’s “best friend” and his wife (they were so kind, I hope they’re well); the veranda that I'd quite daily go out on to just sit and watch the green, luscious landscape, in quiet peace; and the genuine friends made at the church.

Because of the increasing unhappiness that we couldn’t help but feel, we decided to attend another church (sigh . . we really thought our search had ended).

Of course, by the grace of God, we still love and keep everyone in prayer.
And, y’know, sometimes, I even miss the whole nostalgia of the place . .

It was the church at which I had first sang on stage — a feat I never thought I'd accomplish. I've always liked to sing, but I was too shy to even do so in front of Mom! I prayed to overcome this fear years ago, and I received my answer in that church.

Continue to be loving and kind, growing in wisdom.
Don’t stop praying for yourself and others: He hears.
Never give up on Him and His church.

All by His grace,
in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Yesterday afternoon, while coding a reinvented version of monae.me, I was blessed with the idea:
instead of creating an About Me site, code your own blog (so you won’t have to deal with any restrictions, as on WP).

So this is now my new project.
In time to come, God willing, monae.me will be my lil spot on the internet.

Stay tuned.

It can easily feel as though there’s no love in the earth — no genuine care, or sympathy, or affection. I'm encouraged, though, in knowing that God Himself is Love and He works in people (if even one person), so long as they allow Him into their hearts, to show that there is love, only by His grace.

monae.me is now live!
God is good: He enabled me to build this cute and quick lil project using simple HTML and CSS.

Honestly, the power and water outages, extreme heat, and even the terrifying hurricane that I endured during the month-long trip weren’t so bad: for me, it was all part of the adventure. I only wish that I had given more heed to the concerns that I had before going on the trip, then I would’ve stayed put.


The key: Pray as soon as the bad memories begin to slip in. The troublesome thoughts rush in like a flood of waters. It always feels as though I'm about to drown in them, but God has been keeping me afloat (sane), and for this I am thankful.

Smile through the storm.

I'm really tired of this place, but this is just the world we live in.

It's got me thinking:


I'm trusting in God, though discouraged: He'll bring some good people our way.

On another note: He has been doing some very beautiful things for us in our lives lately — as usual. :)

I'm looking forward to the near future.

By His grace, stop caring for what others think of you: they do not know you nor do they really care about you. Focus on God: He knows and loves you best.

Never going with nobody on no trip ever again — except God shows me that the person actually cares and is kind.

11 a.m.

Sometimes (like 99% of the time) I wish I hadn’t done or said certain things. I beat myself up real bad, but I need to remember: focus on the roses instead of the thorns. Don’t rehash the past (even if it was yesterday), bringing up them bad decisions. Just don’t ever do it again,

By God’s grace, Amen.


3 p.m.

I just finished doing my hair, starting a little after noon (I think). As I took care of my curls, I played the audio version of the book The Great Controversy by Ellen G. White. I am now greatly encouraged to keep pushing through this life full of evil and unkindness, fakeness, and hatred against the good and the right.

Listening to the book (chapters 9-12), I couldn’t help but conclude:

Though some people who are against the Lord’s counsel judge you (and actually accuse you of judging them) and force you to conform to whatever they feel is right or “isn’t so bad;” seeing that He is the One to whom you'll have to answer at the end of the day, stick to:

Just because they choose to disregard God’s instructions, you don’t have to follow them into the pit. That’s them. Yes, you must pray for them because you love them, but He tells us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (by His grace and in His love). Instead of relying on their unstable opinions, focus on what God point-blank-and-period told you to do. In the world, all around you, are evidences of the Truth.

That’s it.

When mindful of God's thoughts of you, shutting out people’s biases and accusations, you can safely ignore the world. Continue to be loving, kind, forgiving, and prayerful, all by His grace. He is still aiming to use you as His hands and feet in this world of sadness, so remain encouraged and check yourself, with His guidance.

monae.me has again been redesigned!

This time I added a little bit of JS; the project took about 1.5 days.
Stay tuned: I plan to add more features to the blog, God willing.

Real happy about this one. God is amazing!

:)